Mercedes E-Guard: Aimed Right At The Despot, Warlord, Rap Mogul Demographic


Here’s an interesting, well, I guess you could call it an option, from Mercedes Benz. They are making what amounts to a factory armored car out of the E Class, and they’re selling it to anybody with the cash.

You could say that this would have been good if Mercedes was going after the despot/warlord/rap mogul demographic, but in these uncertain economic times, who knows might end up buying this thing.

But, since this is a Mercedes, it’s not just extra steel in the doors and thick glass, oh no.

For starters, Mercedes says that the E-Guard features “a network of intelligently conceived protective features of special steel, which are invisibly integrated beneath the otherwise identical body.” So to all you thieves and/or kidnappers out there, you can\’t tell just by looking whether you’re dealing with a normal E-Class, or an E-Guard.

The new E-Guard variant also features all-round polycarbonate glazing in place of normal glass. Mercedes doesn’t go into just how this is done, nor do they mention if this model will be available in the U.s., since America has pretty restrictive laws about what sort of “glass” you can put into car windows. Also, polycarb scratches pretty easily, so maybe Mercedes is not talking about the exterior panels.

Apart from all of the high tech defensive measures, it still looks, feels and functions like a normal E-Class. It’s a fully-fledged five-seater with lots of room, there’s all the normal bells & whistles like sun protection and the lighting/control functions, the rear window is heated, and the driver and front passenger have power windows. Power windows are also available for the rear, and optional extras include an emergency alarm system that causes the headlamps to flash and sounds an alarm at the touch of a button in the event of Savage Henry, the noted scag Barron, trying to muscle in on your territory.

There’s also an intercom system allows communication between the protected passenger cell and the outside world.