BRABUS GL 63 Biturbo Luxury SUV

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Hey! You! Yeah you! The rich as all get out guy who has been largely unaffected by The Great Recession. Have we got just the car for you: The BRABUS GL 63 Biturbo Luxury SUV. Nothing says “Screw you, I’m rich and don’t care about the environment” better than this guy.

“Strong as a bull, sporty yet elegant and with exclusive appointments: The new BRABUS GL 63 Biturbo, which celebrates its world debut at the DUBAI INTERNATIONAL MOTOR SHOW … ” OK, really, what more do you need to know, you know?

From the Freudian start, to the fact that is rolled out in Dubai, the BRABUS GL 63 Biturbo has conspicuous consumption written all over it.

It’s a crate-shaped SUV with an engine that puts out 650 hp and is loaded with more luxury junk than anyone could possible ever desire with a clean conscious, but hey, there’s probably a market for it.

The BRABUS B63 Biturbo is motivated by a 6.3-liter V8 engine that puts out the aforementioned 650 hp and it can top out at a remarkable 300 km/h (186 mph). Remarkable because this thing must have the aerodynamics of the crate it’s shipped in. Hell, it LOOKS like the crate it was shipped in. Imagine what that plant could do in something not so square.

Along with the big mill, you also get forged 23-inch wheels, an exclusive interior with leather and Alcantara. All for the low, low price of 368,000 Euros MSRP.

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But it’s not like this is some slapped together tuner special that Vin Diesel would use as a prop. BRABUS (all caps, and I worry about companies that do stuff like that) has gone to the trouble to make the turbos “handed”, so that the left hand blower is a mirror image of the right hand unit. Better response that way, but not a cheap solution. They have also reprogrammed the engine electronics with custom mapping for ignition.

Torque, you ask? Well the box cranks out a maximum torque of 850 Nm (626 lb-ft) and that grunt is routed to the ground via a modified SPEEDSHIFT 7G-TRONIC seven-speed automatic transmission and permanent four-wheel drive.

Performance? That would be zero to 100 km/h (62 mph) in 4.7. Not bad for a truck that weighs … well, they don’t say how porky this guy is – but it’s probably a lot.

There are all sorts of gee-gaws on the inside as well (LCDs and leather and trim bits that are more expensive than a used Miata), but by this point, who cares. If this is your sort of ride, you’ve probably got one on order by now.

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Photos: BRABUS