In the neo-Edwardian age we are all descending into, Daisy Buchanan 2.0 will probably be driving a 2018 Extended-Length Lincoln Navigator when she runs over a poor person. Calling this thing “big” is like calling the USS Shenandoah “big.” It greatly downplays its magnitude.
Even though Lincoln touts the size of their new Extended-Length Lincoln Navigator (ELLN? EL2N?) they have yet to give out any specs on the thing. They do mention it is nearly a foot longer than the regular model, which is already 207 inches – more than 17 feet – long.
The Extended-Length features increased cargo capacity (which kind of follows) with a specially designed below-floor storage compartment behind the third row. And yes, all that is very nice and handy, but Lincoln really let’s you know what this luxo-barge is all about: It separates you from “the little people.”
When they say it’s “Lincoln’s longest, most luxurious and spacious SUV,” they ain’t kidding. The second-row door is larger, so you can get in and out with greater ease. There’s an extra 15 cubic feet of storage behind the third row of seats, so that way, and Lincoln actually says this: “every passenger enjoys a comfortable ride, bags still fit, and bulky cargo isn’t a hassle.” See? No need to interact with your abundant luggage, that’s for the servants. You can just get in, sit down, and enjoy the ride.
Lincoln also mentions the new big boy comes standard with signature personalized customer service, including Pickup and Delivery. In other words, when it comes time to service the beast, no need to worry sir, oh no. A Lincoln Service Valet comes and picks up your Lincoln, sir, for any service needed, at any location. In the meantime, you are provided a complimentary Lincoln loaner vehicle, and when the service is completed, your ELLN returns to you freshly washed. Very good sir.
From there on out, Lincoln just shovels on the luxury add-ons. With this model, Lincoln has unveiled Destination, “a new Black Label interior theme that celebrates the art of travel.” Now, they didn’t clarify exactly, but I’m pretty safe in saying that their Black Label has no affiliation with the low-cost beer that was once so popular with the Seattle punk rock crowd.
Check this out: “Destination takes its inspiration from vintage luggage, hearkening back to a time when travel was rich with excitement and intrigue.” What? Are you going to drive this through The Veldt on the way to shoot a rhino? Probably not, but the interior makes you think you could, I guess. The Extended-Length also features Mahogany Red Venetian leather with a diamond weave on the seats, and khaya wood laser-etched appliqués that echo the diamond weave pattern.
Still not convinced this thing is going all full-on neo-Edwardian? Then check this: The new, enormous Navigator comes in two other Lincoln Black Label interior themes, Chalet and Yacht Club. Chalet and Yacht Club! Insert appropriate Nikolai Bukharin quote here.
But just a moment Ivanovich, there are even more profligate indicators of the bourgeoisie nature of the 2018 Lincoln Extended-Length Navigator. The big Lincoln comes with Perfect Position Seats and Pre-Collision Assist with Pedestrian Detection. Note that is Pedestrian Detection and not Pedestrian Avoidance. Lincoln says the system uses radar and cameras to provide a collision warning to the driver, which is pretty standard these days. If you do not respond in time, the big Lincoln can automatically apply the brakes for you.
Further, the system is designed to reduce the severity of and, potentially, eliminate frontal collisions, including those involving pedestrians. There is no word if there’s a secret Myrtle Wilson detection system, but there could be.
More Everything Please
If you are a Lincoln Black Label member, you receive lifetime complimentary car washes, and a “complimentary culinary experience – with enhancements such as a champagne or wine toast, appetizers, and a personalized menu.” Seriously. Lincoln just throws that in there. No mention on when or where or what’s on the menu. I guess it’s just one of those things that one knows, ya’know?
That Black Label membership also qualifies you for the Avis President’s Club, which is an exclusive, invitation-only program, of course, that includes such perks as complimentary rentals in select locations and premiere savings.
Use of a Dogs-Body is also included . . . okay, okay, I’m kidding about that last part, but you know it’s probably just around the corner.
And so, there it is: The 2018 Extended-Length Lincoln Navigator. Probably the biggest, heaviest, most ostentatious, and brazen beast on wheels you can get without commissioning something from the ghosts of Figoni et Falaschi. So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Tony Borroz has spent his entire life racing antique and sports cars. He is the author of Bricks & Bones: The Endearing Legacy and Nitty-Gritty Phenomenon of The Indy 500, available in paperback or Kindle format. Follow his work on Twitter:@TonyBorroz