“It comes to a point where there are certain things you just can’t do. And putting testicles on the back of a truck is just too much.”

Thus spake Lionell Spruill, Virginia lawmaker who wants to ban Truck Nuts.

And who am I to argue …

Of course, when you start talking about legislating what’s in good taste, that’s when I reach for my revolver. Considering what some lawmakers deem aesthetically pleasing (honestly, have you ever heard The Singing Senators?), this seems like the top of a slippery slope that ends up in Beigetown with mandatory pictures of big-eyed puppies and sad clowns in every home.

Yeah, look, I get it … these things are about as pointless on every level imaginable as you can get, and their only redeeming qualities is that they make morons more easy to spot at a distance, but if you start banning things like this, next thing you know, they’ll start talking about how that rock and roll is the devil’s music and has to go.

From the files of the obvious, comes word of a new study that points out that driving in traffic and talking on a cell phone makes you drive slower.

Well duh!

Psychology professor David Strayer, at the University of Utah says that drivers on the phone tend to cruise “about 2 miles-per-hour slower on commuter-clogged roads than people not on the phone, and they just don’t keep up with the flow of traffic.”

Yes, some have pointed out some flaws in the methodology, but still, doesn’t this seem kind of obvious?

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: You are in a car, drive it!

You’re not in a phone booth, you’re not in a beauty parlor, you’re not in a diner. You’re in a frickin’ car! Drive it!

A young mechanic near London filmed himself in his Dad’s MR2 going 140 mph, which was commonly described as “among the most reckless pieces of driving they had ever seen.”

Check out the video:

After a young Danish boy died of cancer in 2004, his family requested that his urn be modeled after his favorite sports car - the Ferrari. The funeral home contacted a local Ferrari dealer, and the dealer obliged, even sending him a prancing horse emblem and some Ferrari stickers.

Ferrari, perceiving the piece of art as marketing for the funeral home, sued the 4-person company for $46,000, claiming misuse of the Ferrari trademark.

Is Ferrari looking for bad publicity? I understand business and the protection of trademarks, but they weren’t using the Ferrari brand for financial gain, and they were only trying to fulfill a dying boy’s dream, and “[going] the extra mile to help this family,” says Carzten Mark, the owner of the Begravelses Service funeral home.

Whoever made this terrible decision needs to step down and get real. We all know Enzo wouldn’t have put up with this if he were here today. Continue Reading…

No more Ferraris…no more Lamborghinis. No more Pagani Zondas, Audi R8s, or Porsche Carrera GTs. Could you imagine such a horrible world? It might be a reality if the European Union gets their way. As if putting a speed limit on the Autobahn wasn’t ridiculous enough, these politicians are saying that selling “boys’ toys” that exceed the 130km/h speed limit is “political and environmental lunacy. People cannot drive at these speeds legally. It is just boys’ toys.”

They want to ban any vehicle that can travel over 25% of the usual EU speed limit of 130km/h (about 81 mph.) In other words, they want to ban any sports car that can go over about 100mph. Why? To reduce carbon-dioxide emissions. Ridiculous! I guarantee you that no German or Italian in their right mind will allow this (although Germany is the only country not affected by the law.) Thankfully, there are a lot of Germans voting on the law.

Continue Reading…

Okay, so it just started snowing a few days ago, and I’ve already witnessed my share of people driving like idiots on the snow and ice, then seeing them a few miles down the road in the ditch. I must admit, it makes me smile when I see stupid people learn a lesson, but it seems like it takes at least a month after it starts snowing for some people to comprehend the fact that it is indeed snowing, and snow is slippery. More specifically, it’s these guys in their 4×4 Chevy Avalanches, Dodge Rams, and other various big trucks and SUVs thinking they’re invincible because they have a “4×4″ sticker on the back, or simply because it’s a big vehicle.

What these geniuses don’t understand, is that even if you have more traction than the Honda Civic next to you, you are in a much larger vehicle. The larger a vehicle is, the more momentum it has, and the faster you go, the momentum increases exponentially. That means that it’s much harder to stop in a given distance, and on snow and ice, that’s a bad thing. Hopefully, this will help you understand:

Momentum = Mass × Velocity

Velocity is how fast you’re going (specified by a direction, for those of you who were going to tear me apart for definition.) The bigger and heavier your car is, the more mass it has. This means that if you and a compact car are next to each other going 80 mph on snow and ice, the smaller car will be able to stop before you, because it has much less momentum.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that drivers of large vehicles aren’t the only culprits here; there are a lot of other ignorant people who drive the same way in smaller cars, and they need to take a look at the equation above too. The difference is, they’re just being stupid. I’m trying to point out the fact that drivers of large vehicles are under the wrong impression that they can drive faster over ice and snow because of the size and (wrongly) perceived safety of their vehicles.

Will this article dissuade anybody from driving like an idiot in slippery conditions? Probably not. But if one person reads this and slows down a little bit next time he’s driving his Escalade 80 mph over ice, I’ve done my part.