Ok people, this sort of thing is really getting old.
As you may know by now, a crapload of hyper-sensitive drama-seekers are calling Audi promoters of sexual assault because of their latest Super Bowl commercial, “Courage Wins.” Why? Because some people love to find drama where there is none, and look for any reason to be offended and cause a ruckus.
The commercial, if you haven’t seen it, can be found below, but in short:
A lonely teenage boy goes to the prom alone, but at the last minute, his Dad throws him the keys to his shiny new Audi S6. As he pompously drives to the school dance, he gets some courage, parks in the Principal’s parking spot, walks in and kisses a girl he fancies. You know, kinda like how life works sometimes. She clearly likes the kiss but the douchey Prom King boyfriend gives the kid a black eye and he drives home satisfied.
Here’s the video:
After the commercial aired, loads of people did what any outraged American would do and jumped on Twitter:
@amaditalks says: “News flash to all men: kissing someone without consent isn’t brave, no matter what @Audi says, it’s sexual assault. Do. Not. Do. That. Ever.”
Can any man here claim that he awkwardly says “may I kiss you?” before he goes for a first kiss with a gal he likes? Not if you ever actually want to get anywhere with her. Without becoming a relationship advice article, women tend to expect confidence and bravery in a partner – I could cite a shitload of articles on this written by women, but I’ll spare you.
Look, if you go in for a kiss and she accepts, which she did in the commercial, that’s how things work. It’s only sexual assault if you’re a dick and keep trying to sleaze on her after she says no.
@EWAnnieBarrett cleverly quips: “Sexual assault. It’s what defines us.”
@Stepto: “Audi just seemed to encourage sexual assault, teen violence, and reckless driving all in one commercial.”
Dude, teen violence, reckless driving; it’s fucking high school, that’s how shit works. Just be glad they didn’t show how my high school days were; they would have showed a group of friends skipping prom, loitering outside a comic book shop drinking beer and smoking pot.
Hugo Schwyzer writes: “a classic rape fantasy is that the no magically turns to a yes.” – WTF does that have to do with anything? This kid is clearly a typical, shy, teenager who never gained up the courage to ask her out in the first place.
Geekmom on Wired: “this is a dangerous message, unwanted sexual contact is cool.”
Right, but it wasn’t. I’ve went in for a kiss before, got rejected, and that was that. This is a pretty typical high school situation (minus the Dad letting his kid drive a new $72,000 S6, maybe,) and we have no idea what the (hypothetical) back story is. You won’t hear one person who was a nerdy kid in high school agree with this nonsense.
Jenna Karvunidis from Chicago Now has the right idea:
1. Just because another guy is mad about the interaction between Audi Kid and Prom Queen, thus seeming to take ownership of a girl (not possible, by the way), does not mean he is necessarily her choice of guy. This commercial used the context of the “real” boyfriend being mad to imply the girl didn’t want to kiss Audi Kid. Wrong! If we remove the overbearing boyfriend character and just focus on the wants and reactions of the girl we see . . .
2. She embraced him and . . .
3. She kissed him back. Also, there was no tongue or forced body part entry, as Schwyzer suggested.
4. She was longing and smiling after the encounter. That is not how assaulted women look after an attack. Why are we saying a happy person is an assault victim? If I had to take an oath and sign a waiver after every guy kissed me, I’d still be waiting by my locker.
You see this kind of sappy boy-spontaneously-kisses-girl stuff in movies all the time and say “awwww that’s cute” – now it’s suddenly “OMGWTFAudiAreRapists!!!” – what’s so different?