Will Your Car Get You Laid?

Subaru Impreza WRX STi

Many a teenage boy has asked just this question — and you might not think it’s relevant or even worth talking about. But it plays such an important role in car-buying situations that it must be discussed.

There’s no denying it; the curb appeal of a car is part of the buying process. And if it isn’t, then you clearly know nothing about cars and care very little about what the world thinks of you as a human being. Would you wake up and put a potato sack on to go to work? I didn’t think so.

So, how does one measure a car’s sex appeal? Well there are a few factors to consider:

  • Pure exterior sex appeal
  • Exhaust note
  • Interior space/cleanliness

Think of your car as an extension of yourself. If you’re looking to purchase a brand new car, consider the fact that your ride truly is an extension of yourself and your personality. If, let’s say, you’re pulling up to your date’s house for the first time to pick her up; you may have already aced that first impression and landed the date, but now she gets to judge you all over again. And your broken down and rusting Yugo just won’t inspire lustful thoughts — trust me.

If you’re in the market for a brand new ride, let me instead suggest these models that are sure to get your motor running (and her’s too):

Subaru Impreza STI

2018 Subaru WRX STi

As long as you’re not cruising around in a Subaru Outback (we all know what that means), then driving a Subie is just plain cool. And if you want to be even cooler and attractive, then make sure you cough up the cash for the STI. The brand new hatch version is just damn sexy. Rally-inspired and capable of handling anything the road throws its way, the Impreza STI doesn’t just convey thoughts of stability and control, but it also has undertones of wild behavior and mystery. And make sure to remove that blow-off valve silencer so you get a nice harmonious gasp from her and your Subie for every gear change.

Mazdaspeed3

2010 Mazdaspeed 3 front

Don’t be fooled by the insane-asylum grin on this auto. It might look giddy and silly, but it’s serious stuff behind the wheel. Driving the Mazdaspeed3 will get you looks no matter what you look like. The car attracts enough attention on its own, that you’d never have to get out of the car — just pop open the passenger-side door like a Venus fly trap and wait. Honestly. Everyone loves Mazda right now (as they should) and the 3 is so widely popular that not only will you be heralded for making the “smart” vehicle choice, but you’ll also be cool for choosing the top-end tuner model. And even though I use the word “tuner” grudgingly, that’s what it is. But it’s tasteful tuner, and that’s the difference. With a hot hatch design that’s perfect the way it is and an exhaust note that growl-y enough to garner attention from the right passersby, the Mazdaspeed3 is definitely a car that’ll get you laid.

Ford F-150

2010 Ford F 150 SVT Raptor

This might be a shock to some of you, but hear me out. A few years ago the most attention the Ford F-150 would have gotten you would be a few nods from the construction workers down the street. But Ford has done something interesting with the pick-up; they’ve manged to bring it out of the age of flannel shirts and hard hats and put it right up there in the suits and business-owner realm. Pick-ups are no longer hillbilly. Ford’s F-150 is so highly customizable that it’s possible to order an F-150 that, practicality-wise, would never survive as a workman’s ride. Take the King Ranch for example; would you really want your muddy work boots on the cream-colored carpeting? Or your oily tools on the deep brown, creamy leather seats in the back? I don’t think so. But would you want to have to help your date in her mini skirt up onto those buttery leather seats? Why yes, I think you would.

So, finding the right car is about more than fuel mileage, trunk space and gadgets. Finding the right ride could be your ticket to coupledom. Remember that.

What other reasonably priced car do you think will get you laid?

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4 Comments on "Will Your Car Get You Laid?"

  1. The Subaru Impreza is a sweet car. However, the fact is that none of these cars will get you laid. Many women today earn more than their husbands and boyfriends and can afford to pay for their own Mercedes or Bentley. As a woman, even a Bentley or a Ferrari would not get a second look from me let alone any of these cars. I make my own $. Men are impressed by my car; not the reverse.

  2. jh

    I am looking for a car that i will love and get me to and from work and college. for sure a car will get you laid when your young and in college because some women do not have much money while in college. If she see a man with at nice car they think that man has money plan and simple. I am not sure all women are like that but if you as a man look like a provider they will want you over some dumb ass. What I like is the BMW 5 series. I have test drove that car and a Audi A6, S4, a Mercedes E350, and a Lincoln MKZ. To tell you I have always love luxury cars because of my family, growing up we had a lot of car my favorite was the Luxury cars. Out of the test drive my choices have narrowed to the BMW and the Lincoln. The reason I did not like the Merc was because the ride was numb, the ride was jerky for some reason in a brand new 2012 mercedes, the dealer tried to say I had it in economy mode changed to the sport mode still jerky but more responsive to jerky ride with numb steering. There were also a lot of blind spots; it as if they are forcing you to purchase the blind spot detection system and rear view camera. Also the leg room was a bit short while the front seat is in my driving position and I am only 6’2″. Last thing that was wrong the breaks were soft in a car that suppose to be luxury come on mercedes. The BMW was great the blind spot were not but when test driving that car with the showroom stickers still on it no one will even get close to hit the car because they could not afford to pay for damages. the great thing about it the ride the I drive was not really that difficult to use and you can get this car cheap if you do not opt for that other bits like the seats I had the multi-contour seat while I was test driving nice but after the test drive there is no leg room at my seating position. The items you will need is heat seat, navigation, the blind spot thing, and if you love music the sound system that will make the car about 50000 or less while worth it to me because the Saab 9-5 cost more but has GM stuff all over it. The Lincoln MKZ was a surprise I was expecting the worst and found I really enjoyed the car more than I wanted to. The sound system was beyond belief and the car come packed with everything down to cooled seats during hot summers in the south. The only things that I hated the about it was that the seat were a bit flat, no bigger engine provided, and it was front will drive. My conclusion if you go for a car go for something you want and if you get laid in the process than you got the right car for you.

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