Rumor Says VW To Kill Porsche Cayenne, Panamera

Please let this be true … Please let this be true … Please let this be true. There’s rumors flying everywhere today that VW, new owners of corporate and literal siblings Porsche, are planning on going all choppy-choppy on the Cayenne and Panamera. It couldn’t happen to two more worthless cars.

Wait, let me rephrase that. It’s not that the Cayenne and Panamera aren’t well engineered. Everything I’ve read about both of them talk about how impressive they are from a performance standpoint for things like SUVs and big sedans.

But that’s just the point. They’re SUVs and big sedans!

Look, I got nothing against either SUVs or big sedans. No, they’re not my first choice of rides in most circumstances, but I do see the efficacy of them. I’ve got a good friend that lives in Alaska, and her dad, that runs an outdoor outfitters. He drives an H1 Hummer. You got to go help someone out in the middle of the Denali in February, you NEED a ride like that. Same goes for big sedans. Sometimes, those are the right horse for the right course.

But the Cayenne and Panamera? Porsche, Porsche, Porsche – what are you thinking?

You were and should be, a sportscar company. You made your bones creating and building cars like 550 Spyders that could kick the butt of much larger, and allegedly more capable cars. Your 911 is an automotive icon for the ages. Look at what you accomplished with the 917, the 956 and the 962.

This? This is what you’ve come to? Building SUVs for the likes of Carla Soprano and big sedans with aggressively lumpy rear ends for God knows who? What made you decide to follow that path? Was your lust for mammon that overwhelming?

Seemingly. That’s what I read just before the Cayenne came out. At the time, Porsche was just starting a big push in Le Mans racing, seeking to re-conquer that summit that they had so comprehensively dominated before. Suddenly, the program was completely cut, and the word from the factory was that the engineers that were working on the Le Mans program were needed on a new and emerging program. It turned out to be the Cayenne.

You chose to build fricking SUVs instead of going racing at Le Mans?!

Shame, shame I say!

Hopefully these rumors will turn out to be true and VW will knock some sense into their cousins over in Zuffenhausen, and Porsche can get back to making what they’re here to make: Sports cars.

Source: LeftLaneNews

Photo from Flickr user Glutnix

Thank goodness. It is time for Porsche to get back to their roots.

Everyone has the same naive complaint: “Porsche is a sportscar company, they shouldn’t make SUVs and big sedans” Do you enjoy their sportscars? Do you realize the only thing that make those cars possible is the sales of the other cars you want them to get rid of? Half of of the revenue Porsche takes in from its cars (which is fraction of what they make from their side job as a hedge fund) comes from sales of the Cayenne. The introduction of the Cayenne was pivitol in allowing Porsche to remain independant as long as they did. The same will be true of the Panamera. Don’t get me wrong, I love 911s and the Cayman and the rest of Porsche’s storied sportscar line up, but i understand not to bite the hand that feeds me, and if that means putting up with an SUV (a 500hp SUV, one capable of fording 22in of water, approaching 33 degree inclines and other impressive feats based on years of exciting Rally Cup experience, mind you) then fine by me.